I'm Not Dead Yet

I haven't posted in three months, but I swear I'm still alive (although sometimes I even begin to question it myself). Law school is a serious hamper on my life in general, and blogging takes a backseat to keeping up with school, trying to get enough sleep, and keeping my home clean enough for human habitation. (Yes that was an Oxford comma -- yet another terrible habit I've picked up that law school seems to encourage.) Finals begin in roughly three weeks, and I'm overwhelmed. I made the Dean's List in the fall, but I've been struggling to stay motivated this semester. Here's a brief rundown of what I've been up to since January:

• I made a New Year's resolution to work out more (yes, cliche, I know), and that lasted an entire week before I broke my toe and could barely walk. Fortunately I wasn't crippled for too long, and with a brand-new pair of stiff-soled sneakers I was back at it in a week. The toe still hurts a little bit, but it's healing.
• My grandmother passed away in February, which was somewhat of a relief for everybody. She had been declining for years, and after major surgery and a stroke in August, had been particularly miserable. Taking care of her was putting a major strain on my family, and I was home nearly every weekend to try and alleviate some of the burden. I still don't think I've finished processing all of my feelings about her death, and issues of aging in general. It's not necessarily death I fear so much, but the circumstances that surround it. Everybody I know who has died has gone one of two ways: either very suddenly, with no time for goodbyes, or after a long, protracted, expensive decline involving tremendous suffering and loss of dignity. All things being equal I suppose I prefer the former, but I don't know how much of that is actually up to me.
• Two days after the funeral (great timing, I know) we took a very belated honeymoon to Jamaica. Because we had gotten married only four days before I started law school there was no time before, but we welcomed the opportunity to get away for awhile. I've been there once before, and it's a beautiful place despite the crushing poverty. Husband and I have actually seriously started discussing retiring somewhere in the Caribbean (though that's a long way off since we're in our late 20's), so it at least gives us a long-term goal to look toward.
• Since the honeymoon I've been back to work at school. I've secured a position for the summer that's (mostly) in the field I'm hoping for. I've also applied for a very competitive and prestigious fellowship for next school year, so we'll see what happens with that.

As far as other things are concerned (veganism, spirituality, lifestyle stuff), it'll have to wait until after finals, because it's about time for me to go into crisis mode. I'm told that the first year of law school is the worst, and it's downhill from here. I certainly hope that's true. Once finals are over there will be time for all of these things. I'm also wanting to start on the 333 project (though I pretty much do this already), so one more thing to look forward to. Adios until early May.