Life Update: August 2017

Wow how things have changed since the last time I did one of these a little over two years ago. I graduated from law school, moved to a new city for husband's job, took and passed the bar exam got my first real lawyer job, and had a baby. I'm exhausted from just typing all of that out. In fact, all of those things happened within the span of about ten months.

Parenthood is also forcing me to really change my perspective on my priorities. I'm finding myself pulled in too many directions -- I want to be a good wife, a good mother, a good lawyer, a good housekeeper, etc., etc. I frequently lament that there are only 24 hours in a day, and as I've learned the hard way, I need to spend at least five of those asleep in order to function.

My current job has me commuting an hour each way and putting baby in daycare, which I'm not crazy about obviously. But I've accepted a new job, in a different town six hours away. It's a cut in pay, but it's worth it for the advantages. No more hour-long commute with a baby in tow. It's government work, so there's a more steady pace and the day ends at five. And most importantly, all of my family and my husband's family live in that town, which I'm really appreciating now that I'm a parent. My parents and my in-laws are excited to be around the baby and I'm definitely grateful for the help.

Other than that, life continues apace. I've really been working to do more of a capsule-style wardrobe, so I'm looking forward to doing some posts about that. I'm also making a concerted effort to raise my child in as clutter-free and consumption-free a manner as possible, so I'm planning on posting about that later. Until then.

Life Update

I've been meaning to post an update for awhile now, but life has been busy and I haven't had a chance. So here's what I've been up to lately:

I've finished two years of law school and I have one to go. For the summer I'm back in my hometown and working as a clerk at a medium-sized firm. This may or may not result in a job offer at the end of the summer, but in any event I'm (usually) feeling very confident in my legal abilities because of the challenges I'm confronted with at this clerkship. I've still got one year of school and a bar exam standing between me and becoming a lawyer, but at least there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Husband and I are happier than ever as we approach our second anniversary. We've (sorta kinda) started trying for a baby just this month, though we're certainly not trying very hard. If and when anything comes of it, I'll be sure to start posting about my exploration of minimalist pregnancy, birth, and parenting.

On the minimalism front, I'm currently in the process of adopting a capsule wardrobe. Once I've got that squared away, I'll make a post showing what that looks like for me.

Lastly, I've been making significant changes to my diet and health in anticipation of maybe possibly getting pregnant. Sugar is out, and I'm giving this six weeks to adapt to before I cut out dairy and/or grains (I haven't decided which to cut out next, but both will go). I don't know how the vegan thing would work with pregnancy, so I'll have to do some homework on that.

That's it for now. Since I'm only working 40 hours a week this summer, instead of the 70 to 80 I was putting in during the school year, I have more time to make posts, and I plan to update my progress in various areas.

One Thing After Another

The first year of law school is done! Unlike a lot of my friends, I jumped right into my summer internship without a break. In retrospect, I don't know what my hurry was, and I probably should have given myself a week to rest and recuperate, and to catch up on grown-up responsibilities. Lesson learned.

As you saw in the previous post, seeking out renter's insurance became a priority for us recently. I still haven't found the time to go into the insurance agent's office to set that up, but it's scheduled for Saturday. But when it rains, it pours (literally), and that wasn't the end of the plagues of Egypt around here.

The fire was massive, and destroyed a building with 16 apartments. Four fire trucks were spraying it down for hours just to put the fire out, and all of that water had to go somewhere. In this case, "somewhere" was the lowest point in our apartment complex, aka the storm drain in front of our building. Along with it, that water carried leaves and debris, and it clogged the storm drain. The next day, there was an unusually heavy rainstorm. We came home to find my husband's car halfway submerged in water.

Coincidentally, we were out at dinner talking about getting rid of the car while the flood was happening. We had gone car shopping the previous weekend (not with the intention of buying anything that day, but just to see what the options were). That same day, the check engine light came on, and the repairs were going to cost about $200 (on a car worth about $1200). We had concluded that we should just share a car for the rest of the summer and save up as much as we could. But carpooling didn't work so well. My car is a stick shift, which he isn't comfortable with driving, and I have to be at work before he does. As a result, I had to drop him off really early, and I still ended up being late. So we were stuck with the choice of fixing his car or purchasing a new one, and apparently the universe thought we needed a new car.

We went back to the dealership, and a new (used) Prius had just been traded in. Somebody had bought a new car, and given up this one which was less than a year old and had only 5,000 miles. It was the last day of the month and the dealership hadn't made many sales over Memorial Day weekend, so they were desperate to make a deal. We picked it up as a certified used for $3,000 under blue book. So far we've been enjoying the great gas mileage -- between 50 and 60 mpg on trips around town, high 40's on the interstate -- but every penny is going toward the payments. I paid off my last car in less than a year, and I intend to do the same thing here, even if we're down to ramen noodles for awhile.

Along with planning what we could afford, we had to look at finances. Another great coincidence -- my husband got a pretty nice raise the week we bought the car, so that will go a long way. But the other problem is his student loans. I didn't realize just how bad his loans were, but then we sat down and looked at it... are you ready for this... $149,000.  Crikey. He's looking for a public sector position (which he wanted anyway) so hopefully he'll have a new job that will qualify him for the public service loan forgiveness program by August when those come due.

How on earth did I get here? Five years ago I had no debt, a nice savings account, a growing Roth IRA, and everything I owned fit in my car. I love my husband, but he brought a giant pile of debt and crap with him. I'm back to the obsessive spreadsheet budget tracking that helped me pay off my car and grow my savings. We'll dig our way out. But it's going to take awhile.

I'm gaining a new appreciation for some of the old personal finance blogs that helped me. Man vs. Debt in particular is resonating with me lately, more so now that I have a household beyond just myself to maintain. I'm going to figure out how to put some sort of tracking app on this blog, for my own motivation if nothing else. But for now, this post has gotten way longer than I intended, so I'll end it here. Until next time.

I'm Not Dead Yet

I haven't posted in three months, but I swear I'm still alive (although sometimes I even begin to question it myself). Law school is a serious hamper on my life in general, and blogging takes a backseat to keeping up with school, trying to get enough sleep, and keeping my home clean enough for human habitation. (Yes that was an Oxford comma -- yet another terrible habit I've picked up that law school seems to encourage.) Finals begin in roughly three weeks, and I'm overwhelmed. I made the Dean's List in the fall, but I've been struggling to stay motivated this semester. Here's a brief rundown of what I've been up to since January:

• I made a New Year's resolution to work out more (yes, cliche, I know), and that lasted an entire week before I broke my toe and could barely walk. Fortunately I wasn't crippled for too long, and with a brand-new pair of stiff-soled sneakers I was back at it in a week. The toe still hurts a little bit, but it's healing.
• My grandmother passed away in February, which was somewhat of a relief for everybody. She had been declining for years, and after major surgery and a stroke in August, had been particularly miserable. Taking care of her was putting a major strain on my family, and I was home nearly every weekend to try and alleviate some of the burden. I still don't think I've finished processing all of my feelings about her death, and issues of aging in general. It's not necessarily death I fear so much, but the circumstances that surround it. Everybody I know who has died has gone one of two ways: either very suddenly, with no time for goodbyes, or after a long, protracted, expensive decline involving tremendous suffering and loss of dignity. All things being equal I suppose I prefer the former, but I don't know how much of that is actually up to me.
• Two days after the funeral (great timing, I know) we took a very belated honeymoon to Jamaica. Because we had gotten married only four days before I started law school there was no time before, but we welcomed the opportunity to get away for awhile. I've been there once before, and it's a beautiful place despite the crushing poverty. Husband and I have actually seriously started discussing retiring somewhere in the Caribbean (though that's a long way off since we're in our late 20's), so it at least gives us a long-term goal to look toward.
• Since the honeymoon I've been back to work at school. I've secured a position for the summer that's (mostly) in the field I'm hoping for. I've also applied for a very competitive and prestigious fellowship for next school year, so we'll see what happens with that.

As far as other things are concerned (veganism, spirituality, lifestyle stuff), it'll have to wait until after finals, because it's about time for me to go into crisis mode. I'm told that the first year of law school is the worst, and it's downhill from here. I certainly hope that's true. Once finals are over there will be time for all of these things. I'm also wanting to start on the 333 project (though I pretty much do this already), so one more thing to look forward to. Adios until early May.

2013: A Wrap-up

So it's already January 1, but I figured I'd still take a moment to review what I accomplished in 2013 to set the stage for my next post, goals for 2014. So first some of the successes

• I got married to my wonderful husband, who also had a big year: graduating from law school, passing the bar, and landing a challenging but not overwhelming new job at a small firm.
• I moved back home. Four years ago, when I ran away screaming from my home state, I would have never put moving back in the "successes" column. But now, a few years older and wiser, I've learned that the grass really isn't greener. As hard as I tried to make the northeast work for myself, I ultimately concluded that the lifestyle here is just better: people are nicer, the pace is more relaxed, and there's a lot more nature. Moreover, I'm close to my family. A few years ago, I never would have placed a priority on family, but planning the wedding got me thinking a lot more about the future, and raising kids, and wanting them to be close to their extended relatives.
• I finished my first semester of law school and gained a lot more insight about where I want my career to go. I've been thinking a lot about the kind of environment I want to work in, and how this will fit in with my plans for a family, and it's really focused my goals in a particular area.

In terms of external successes, 2013 was a banner year, perhaps the best I've ever had. But as for self-improvement, I made a lot less progress, largely because of all the time spent pursuing extrinsic markers of success.

• Veganism was a false start -- the husband made it impossible again. But I'm attacking it with a renewed effort in 2014.
• Spirituality hit a dead-end. This was largely because I spent the bulk of the year in the deep south, where it's Baptist or bust. But I know there are some other spiritual groups in the college town where I now live, so I need to take advantage of some of those opportunities.
• Fitness was a mixed result. From April until August, the job where I worked had a very affordable gym for employees. I worked out like a fiend in preparation for the wedding, often 2-3 hours a day. But since the wedding I haven't been to the gym once. Apart from the occasional long walk to clear my head, I don't get nearly enough exercise (there aren't any treadmills in the law library), so I need to work on taking advantage of the fitness facilities at my university.
• Simplicity was also a mixed result. In the mad rush to pack things and move across the country, I got rid of a lot of stuff (junk). My family and friends were very generous in giving us wedding gifts, almost entirely things from the registry that we can actually use. I'm grateful to have higher quality things that should last a lifetime, but it also means that I'm stuck with them now. I suppose it's time to admit that I'm settled down and starting a family, so it's okay to have some furniture, but I still harbor this secret desire to give it all away and backpack across Asia. 

So that was 2013. Later today I'll post a look ahead at 2014.

Where Am I Now?

Wow, what a rush the last month has been. Fiance took the bar exam at the end of July, and ten days later he became Husband. Four days after that, I started law school, and I've barely had time to look up from my books to even think about blogging. But it's Labor Day weekend, and since I've got one extra day to get stuff done (not to mention one less day of school this week!) I'm taking some time to do some serious updates.

Back in January, I sketched out a rough schedule of where I should be in general minimalism/life improvement projects. In the intervening months, so much has happened that not everything has gone according to plan. Here's an update:

January: I did indeed detox all of my cleaning products, and experimented with some new recipes for dish soap and laundry soap. Those didn't go so well, but since moving into the apartment I've stuck with only eco-friendly, basic cleaners.

February: Veganism hasn't been working out as well as I'd have liked. Husband is quite happy to eat vegetarian (he scarfed down 3 Boca Burgers for dinner) but he draws the line at vegan (by smothering them in cheese). I've been doing what I can to keep animal products at a minimum, particularly in my own diet, and I figure if I can stealthily transition to vegan, perhaps he won't notice.

March: Before moving back to Florida, I took the opportunity to seriously de-clutter the kitchen, getting rid of all the crappy plastic stuff and all the things that never get used. In their place, we received as wedding gifts some really nice cookware and flatware, that will last a lifetime. Our kitchen now is somewhat bigger than at the last apartment, but somehow has even less storage, so I'm grateful for the uncluttering efforts.

April: I've made minimal efforts in the area of decluttering my workspace. As a natural consequence of moving, I had to remove everything from my desk, and my new setup is pretty clear at the moment. We'll see if this stays. As for the email sorting system, I really need to get on that. My school email gets 20 to 30 messages a day, and the capacity isn't great.

May: The only real homemade beauty product I use is my baking soda exfoliant. I have recently redoubled my efforts to wean myself off of daily shampooing, after discovering that the Trader Joe's citrus shampoo and conditioner have parabens in them (stupid me for not reading labels). I'll keep an update on how that's going.

June: Raw foods? Yeah, not so much. Though I'm planning on joining a CSA, and I've recently started window box herb and spinach gardens, so I'm making more of an effort to incorporate fresh stuff into my diet. It's easier to do when you're living in a place with such a bounty of locally-grown produce.

July: That would be a negatory on the spirituality. There's a local Buddhist meditation group that I'd really like to visit, but for some reason I'm kinda scared? I don't know. I'll have to do some thinking on this one.

August: I've made a few friends in school, but to be honest most of them are so young, and from such a different background that I haven't found much in common with anybody. Most days I'm happy to come straight home after class and spend quality time alone with my husband.

And now we're into September. I'm supposed to be working on productivity hacks, which I have been incorporating into my studying routine (mostly in the form of to-do lists), but I'm going to explore this more in-depth in a post very soon.

I'm going to be updating this blog as frequently as law school allows. In the meantime, stay well and enjoy some free time for me.

I'm Back

A lot has happened in the last few months to distract me from blogging. Without any further ado or navel gazing, here's a brief rundown:

• We decided to move back to Florida. After a disappointing job search up north for Fiance, plus an extremely generous scholarship for me back in the Sunshine State, we weighed the options and decided we were better back here for now. Time will only tell what will happen to us in the future, and we don't really want to spend the rest of our lives here, but this works for now and we'll re-evaluate in three years when I graduate.
• My grandmother moved out of her house and into an assisted living facility, and she's adjusting very poorly. Originally the move back to Florida was planned for the end of July, but it got pushed up to mid-March when she moved. I'm staying with my parents for the time being.
• I started a job down here in Florida. It's only for the summer, but it pays pretty well and gives me lots of overtime. The work I'm doing will also look great on my resume and has also given me another direction to look in for a field of law.
• We moved the wedding up. And no, there aren't any little minimalists on the way anytime soon. Originally we were planning to do it in December, but after realizing that I just wouldn't have the time to plan an out-of-town wedding during my first semester of law school, we said screw it, let's do it in August.

All of these life events have conspired to keep me away from blogging and other optional pursuits. But this, along with my journaling (which I also recently restarted) are really necessary to keep me centered and on the right path. In my next post tomorrow, I'm going to re-evaluate where I am and where I want to be. Hasta luego...

Life Keeps Going

Life has a funny way of getting the best of us. I didn't realize it had been nearly five months since my last post, but I'm going to put something up later today with some updates. A lot has changed in my life (for the better I think) and I'm going to take some time to write about it properly. In the meantime, check out the awesome tofu truck! It almost makes me want to move to Japan.

Why minimalist?

In my second post, I explained the first half of my blog title, and discussed loneliness. Today I will talk about what minimalism means to me, and how it is expressed in my life thus far.

It seems like the various members of the minimalist blogsophere have a story - a loss, a life-threatening illness, or a sudden epiphany - that spurred them to choose a life of voluntary simplicity. I wish I had something so dramatic, because it makes for a good introduction, but that's just not what happened to me. I'm not even quite sure how I stumbled upon the concept, or precisely when. 

I was never much of a collector, much less a hoarder, though I definitely wasn't a minimalist when I was young. I always tried to live frugally, and managed to get through college and a master's degree with no debt. During my last semester of grad school, I landed a job making far more money than I knew what to do with, and I turned to some personal finance blogs for guidance. It was there that I first heard of the book Your Money or Your Life (which - confession - I still haven't read) and the concept of voluntary simplicity. This would have been roughly 2007 or 2008.

Since then, I have moved across the country with only the contents of my small car, something I could have never done before. This experience really drove home the freedom that shedding possessions can confer. Several of my friends have discussed wanting to move, or actually have gone somewhere, but were hampered by the hassle and expense of moving whole apartments full of furniture, thousands of books and DVDs, and large wardrobes. For me, it was as simple as putting some bags in my backseat and going.

I'd like to continue being flexible with my lifestyle, and I'm hoping to raise my children with anti-consumerist, pro-environmental values. The 800-pound gorilla in this plan is my fiance (an issue I will delve into when I find the patience), though I hope once he sees how much freer I am, he will come around. This next year will be a major reckoning. With him searching for jobs and me applying to school, we're not sure what part of the country, let alone what city, we'll be living in, and the more agile we can be, the better. 

To avoid being a windbag, I'll leave it at that, though I'm sure there'll be more on the subject interspersed in various other posts in the future. I'm not entirely certain where I'm going with this blog, but I'm going to attempt to post at least a couple of times a week, so something will show up one way or another. Life's an adventure, so I guess blogging can be too.

Why so lonely?

People tend to use the word in its most negative sense, and I can't say that, in my weaker moments, I don't succumb to the same thinking. But it's not necessarily a bad thing - was Thoreau lonely at Walden Pond? Isolation can be a productive thing, with a plethora of reflective time and necessitation of self-reliance. Thus, I use the term in a value-neutral way, and allow the cards to fall as they may. Specifically, I mean "lonely" in a two-pronged meaning.

The lonely

First, and probably most obviously, is the most literal definition. I moved to this city, 1000 miles from my home, three years ago to attend medical school. My fiance moved here a year later, by which point I had become completely disconnected with my lifelong desire to pursue a medical career (more on that later). The friends I had made in my class quickly vanished, along with all of the social connections I had here. 

I have a job that pays decently enough, but my work is done almost entirely remotely -- I've met my boss in person three times. I have met some people through my fiance, but they're really only acquaintances, who have a lot more in common with his interests than mine. Thus, on an average day, he may very well be the only person I talk to. 

I'm an introvert, for sure, and I've never been the type to just go out and meet random people somewhere. It's always been in a place where you can't help but make friends - school, work, my college dorm - and I'm just not in that kind of circumstance anymore. I just don't even know how you go about it. I'd feel completely stupid going to a bar or coffee shop and just talking to whatever kind-looking face happens to be there, and I don't really see any other way to go about it. And really, it almost never bothers me. I don't have an excess of leisure time, and honestly, I'd rather spend it with a good book than another person.

The Lonely Minimalist

In the second sense, I'm lonely in my minimalist tendencies. Nobody in my life seems to have any interest in or inclination toward voluntary simplicity, and I don't really know what to do with myself. I've been immersed in the minimalist blogosphere for several years now, without posting a single comment on anything out of… fear? shyness? I'm not quite sure why, but the result is that nobody knows I'm out there, even as I've followed these bloggers for years and gotten to know them well. Which is kind of weird when you think about it, but that's just the nature of the blogging beast.

The biggest issue that this raises, above all others, is in my relationship. I plan to get into a lot more detail about this in the future, but here it is in a nutshell: My fiance is a wonderful guy, and so sweet and smart and supportive in every other way, but he's a "collector." I put that term in quotation marks, because I'd almost categorize him as a hoarder if it wasn't all so well organized. It limits what parts of the city we can live in, because we need space for all of his junk and a 2-bedroom apartment downtown is too expensive for two students. The hobbies also consume a fair amount of money, which I'd much rather spend on a modest but much-needed annual vacation. So I'm stuck living in a semi-suburban, car-dependent neighborhood, in a pile of video games and various other man-toys, and I'm not happy. I have no intentions of leaving, but I'd like to change his perspective a bit.

So in a nutshell, that's the lonely bit. When I get time to compose the next segment, "Why Minimalist?" I'll get a little more into my own background and why I feel compelled to live a simpler life. Until then, adios.

A Little About Myself

The prospect of an inaugural blog post is an intimidating thing, at least in my imagination, where people are actually reading this. God knows I've written enough of them over the years, in all of the blogs I've started and killed a few months later for various reasons, usually relating to my dissatisfaction with my image of the blog vs. results. So I vow to not do that ever again. This one is here to stay.

I guess that's thing #1 about myself - I'm a hopeless perfectionist, and I'd rather not do anything if I can't get it absolutely right. I suppose that's one motivation behind my minimalism (more about that in the next post) -- by paring everything down to just the essentials, I'm freed from obsessing over unnecessary details.

Second, I suppose some context about where I am in life would make this blog make more sense. In terms of biographical details, I'm hoping to keep this as anonymous as possible, but I'll reveal this much: I'm female, American, in my late 20's, living in a large city, and recently engaged to a decidedly non-minimalist guy. The incongruence between his "collector" tendencies and my downsizing are the biggest source of conflict in our relationship. I'm also in the throes of law school applications, which are currently the focus of my anxiety, though I seem to always find something to worry about, even when everything is going fine.

That leads into the third thing: I'm anxious, perhaps pathologically so, although I've never sought any kind of counseling or other treatment. I've recently become intrigued by Buddhist philosophy precisely because of its attitudes toward worry and suffering. This is definitely a theme I want to explore more, especially in the context of minimalism and removing distractions from one's life.

I also care deeply about the earth and its future. I've been vegetarian since age ten, and occasionally vegan. I'm looking to make this a permanent change, and I plan to explore this in my blog as well. In addition, I am very conscientious about reducing my waste, minimizing carbon emissions and not taking up more than my share of anything, all of which I think coincide nicely with a simpler lifestyle.

I'm sure I'll think of more relevant details to discuss later. My next post will go into detail about why I chose this title, and how it reflects further on who I am and where I've been.